Hezo Kittie

This is the first time I've opened up Smultron in ages. That means that I've not been writing or coding as of late. Weak.

Yesterday I encountered someone that I wasn't particularly fond of and she said, "Mmmmm this food is good." It was slightly annoying, yet I couldn't exactly pinpoint why.

Today I was with someone who I'm fairly comfortable with and she said, "Mmmmmm this is really tasty." And I found it earnest.

1.) It really got me thinking, that my reasons for doing and not doing and liking and not liking things don't really have a rational basis. I unconsciously come to a conclusion about someone ('like' or 'eh') and then I justify my conclusions with some kind of reasoning that could be easily rebuked or countered with an equally logical argument.

2.) Even though both people ended up saying the same thing, the situations aren't that related, considering this isn't a scientific experiment and I have no control variables or anything. Not only is there a huge context difference (past experiences with that person, the background of the actual situation), non-verbal communication plays a huge role as well. The inflection of the statement and the body language could change the meaning of the words in both situations considerably. On the other hand, this isn't a hard and fast rule because I could just be using this as a justification for my conclusions.

The only thing I can pull from this experience is that the mind is a very complex yet extremely limited organ. What's that saying about the brain being an excellent servant but a terrible master? This is probably related to that.

Chris is in the process of finding a replacement for himself in our apartment because he is planning on moving out by the time school starts. It is a fascinating situation. Chris has already signed the lease, so he has to either pay the rent or find someone else to pay the rent. He's brought a couple of people in to meet us, and we have the final say in the decision. If we like the new guy and the new guy chooses us as well, then Chris is free to go.

However, both of my other roommates are really particular and generally skeptical of any new person (we are using Craigslist since we didn't find anyone we knew to live with us). And since we have final say, if we don't like the new guy then we can tell Chris, "We aren't willing to live with that guy because he seems shady in the five minutes that he toured the place. I guess you'll have to stay."

Chris is an amazing roommate, very clean and considerate and not crazy. So what I find troubling about the matter is that not only are my other roommates very skeptical of new people, no ten minute walkthrough will convince them to say yes and choose the mysterious enigma over the Sure-Thing Good Roommate (Chris). Yet I'm compelled to help Chris in his search in any way that I can, even if it is detrimental to my own interests (such as if we find a replacement who doesn't live up to the standard Chris set, which is likely). Chris and I get along but we don't call each other up to hang out, so it's not because I'm afraid he'll be mad at me when I run into him. And really, I have no reason to do him a favor because he is the one who basically pulled the rug on us last minute and made our living situation much more complicated.

Yet I trust him because my interactions with him have been consistently reciprocal. He was always grateful when I helped him out, and he has helped me out all the time. So time has come for the last stand and I don't even feel hesitant to grant his wish and move out.

For once, a small sacrifice is aligned with my moral intuition and just feels right, and the non-zero-sum game theory of life comes back into the equation. Dope.