Hezo Kittie

Deuce in my Pants v.12.4.69.4.6ix.1337

Yesterday at work this exasperated girl came into our office with her laptop and said, "I called earlier. My VPN doesn't work. I'm on Vista 64-Bit Edition. I need to watch these videos online for a class and I live off campus."

Okay... I first have her recreate the problem. She tries to log in using her username and password and it just hangs there. No error. She said she already tried disabling Windows Firewall and deleting and re-adding the PPTP connection. We can't use the Cisco VPN Client because it doesn't work on 64-bit versions of Windows.

I was baffled pretty quickly because PPTP rarely encounters problems because it's so simple to set up. I automatically jumped to assume that Vista was just being it's wonky crazy self.

I asked the guy who talked to her on the phone if he had any ideas on what to do, and then I asked around the office to see if they had any suggestions on what to try based on what we already attempted.

She had this grating inflection in her voice that was screaming, "What the fuck, Bruin Online? You provide this service to connect to the intranet off-campus and it doesn't even work? And you can't fix it? Your system is fucking retarded and needs to be upgraded or made more reliable." Basically she was accusing us of an unreliable connection.

I looked her up in our database and she's a freshman, and she mentioned that she had Ubuntu Linux also installed on her laptop, and we learn she's a CS major.

So my homie Tony and I are looking at it and trying to look up some fixes for it, and he realized that she fucking HAD A THIRD PARTY SECURITY SUITE ON AND RUNNING (Trend Micro Internet Security). Tony's all, "Dude, seriously? How did you miss this?"

Oh god I am an idiot. Checking for programs running in the background (in the lower-right tray) is protocol. That is like less than no-brainer that I missed.

But whatever, she missed it too and she was a CS major and was the one berating us for our services so fuck her. She was an annoying bitch anyways.