Hezo Kittie

Weird Science

http://www.btinternet.com/~a.ghinn/greatsin.htm

1.) I can't stop thinking about how many of my actions are motivated by some form of conceited Pride. Most of them. Maybe even all of them. The paradox I cannot fight off is that it will always be there, but simultaneously I cannot accept that it's okay to act through Pride. It makes me fucking angry. It's the "deadliest sin" because it is the literal opposite of Love. And I'm seeing it everywhere, but mostly in myself. I really don't know what to do.

2.) I want to do everything to be the best friend I can to my closest friends, yet I'm truly scared of the "best friend" label because there are such high expectations placed on it. Even if I bust my ass to be as best as I can possibly be, it either won't be enough at times or I'll inadvertently let them down. Or in a fit of rage I'll purposefully let them down. No answer to this; I just have to deal with it. Again, I am no way excused from being as best a friend as I can possibly can.