Hezo Kittie

I was standing on the steps of Ackerman last week waiting for someone, and I saw this lady standing there with a lit cigarette in hand, pushing a stroller with a toddler inside. Me and a few other people on the steps kinda just gawked at it for a second. It made me feel funny, in a bad way.

The last time I was in Santa Barbara, I was angry about some stupid thing, and Christen told me, "You just don't understand." And she was right, I didn't. She told me that everything isn't black and white, that there's gray areas, and there's no easy answers. But I think I'm starting to understand now.

The pyramid that the previous poster mentioned was fitting, in my opinion. Obviously, when you're running for your life or working to literally survive, then those take priority over everything else. I realized that my family takes precedence over everything, and that I don't normally acknowledge this because I can count the times I've had problems with my family on one hand. They've kept me safe and provided for me without overindulging me. They've pushed me in the right direction while never once forcing any decision on me, not what schools to apply to, what classes to take, what extracurriculars to join, nothing.

I'm glad that my parents are stopping by this weekend, even if just for lunch, because they're comforting to be around. I've been stressed out recently because I'll become unprepared and then put myself in bad study situations, and while I've normally been able to get over it with relative ease, I've not done too good a job as of late. It's gotten to the point that after a while I'll just give up, and I don't think that's happened before. I miss being invincible and thirsty for knowledge.

I'm tired being proven wrong by useless Wikipedia knowledge, and proving people wrong with useless Wikipedia knowledge. I'm tired of being judged by my musical taste. Too obscure and you're pretentious; too popular and your opinion on a piece of music is worthless.

I think I'm just tired of negativity in general.

I honestly respect every person I've ever met. I've not met Nicole's roommate, however.

Someone once told me, "You tend to write, 'I know this is stupid, but...' a lot. Like you have to put a disclaimer on everything."

I am afraid of criticism and failure more than anything.

A wise person's wise parent once said, "You can't control anyone but yourself."

When I grabbed the first Bukowski book I've ever touched and opened it to the first poem, the poem warned people not to write if they don't have words spewing out of their eyeballs. On that note, I better pack it in.