Hezo Kittie

The last few days have all been mushed into one pot, so the events haven't fully settled in yet. The ruckus of it all has been wonderful, to say the least, and I'm proud to say that I am a Bruin.

I do feel sorry for the guy whose car was right next to the postgame bonfire, however, because the immediate proximity of the ensuing fire started to melt the paint off the said car. I haven't eaten in nine hours, which I think is a record for me, but my appetite doesn't seem to make any sense ever since I started eating dorm food anyway. I never know when I'm hungry or full, I just eat when I'm supposed to.

I was supposed to sign up for my second round of classes tonight at 11PM, but the nutty antics got me pretty distracted. Apparently the site is closed until 6PM, so I'm really, really screwed. I need a specific discussion to fit into the rest of my schedule, and the last I checked there were only two spots left.

My designated chant of the night was "THE ROSE BOWL!!!!", which I thought was appropriate because 1.) it's a home game tradition, and 2.) it's really vague and honestly doesn't make much sense. "Go Bruins!" "U-C-L-A!" Those seem much more coherent, but chanting the name of your stadium (not even, it's just the stadium where we play) is quite funny. Moreso when you're belligerent.

College itself is some messy business. Finally being away from the parental eye (which I never personally saw as a bad thing) hasn't changed me too much. My parents were pretty lenient for the most part anyway, so basically the only difference is that I'm not paranoid that I smell like cigarettes, or alcohol, or whatnot. But the whole lifestyle of the place is still so foreign to me. Fail a class? Take it again. Hit the snooze button one too many times? Big deal. Freedom to take a myriad of interesting and educational classes, only limited by the speed in which the discussions fill up? Pretty damn cool.

The rest of it is still pretty freaky. I've met a bunch of really cool people, and a lot of the time I miss this place and never want to leave. I really can't imagine being anywhere else and having the same experience that I've had here so far. Other times I feel very out of place here. The people who have already done some really big things in their life intimidate me.

But what bothers me is how competitive one of my roommates is. Me and him are in the same chemistry class, and he's a chemistry major so he's pretty hardcore about it. On the other hand, I'm only taking a single quarter of chemistry simply to fulfill a prerequisite and be done with it. The shitty thing is that whenever a midterm comes up, he gets really awkward to be around because he becomes so tense about it, and I can't even ask him simple chemistry questions without him going slightly crazy with his answer. It makes me anxious just being around him. One of my floormate's friends is always hanging out on our floor, and when someone asked him why he never hangs out on his floor, he responded, "My roommates are too competitive, I don't like being in there." That probably would've been a better topic sentence. Oh well, my writing is probably shitty because all I do is math problems now. I'm a one trick pony.

The Scientist is a really sad video. I like listening to the song, but the video makes it too real. I don't want to watch it. I'd rather watch Pharcyde's "Drop".

Thanksgiving break went by pretty quickly. I saw everyone for about one second, so it didn't even seem like it was a break. More like a spontaneous five minute conversation, but nothing as bloody brilliant as summer. Winter break will be much better, being able to get away from schoolwork, give props to my parents, enjoy the company of my friends, AND possibly get some sleep in there. I only got two of the four a few weeks ago.

I like what Bryan said when he first started to believe in God's existence. "Live a life of love and compassion." I guess this life really IS too short to be pissed off all the time. And it's not that I'm irritable all the time, but that when I am I shouldn't be. When all of the superficiality is thrown to the side, along with the corresponding trigger-happy emotions, the priorities in my life become really simple and clear. Love and compassion. Everything else just falls into place.

Nicole and Gavin remind me the most of home.

It was my first time going to the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica last night, which is just a really long strip, and it looked just how you'd imagine LA to be. Unless you imagine LA to be traffic and smog. Or dirty streets and big buildings. But other than that, yeah, it looked like LA. And there were little hipsters wandering about, and old married couples, and I forgot that the entire world isn't college freshmen, because when you're living in school it really feels that way.

Then we went to the beach, and apparently the water was warm for the Pacific in winter, but I wouldn't know because I didn't even want to try. Corinna splashed around in the water for a bit, and she was really enjoying herself. She started to cry, and said sometimes she doesn't know if she's crying from happiness or sadness. I never thought about that before, but it makes sense. Not knowing how I feel about something happens quite frequently. I'm glad that she is in LA, because she's just a great person and she's always looking out for me. Her and Sam are doing really well, and I know that if there's any relationship that can withstand the college separation, it's these two. They've been through so much together that distance is almost meaningless. I like that.

I'm down with the whole "Ignorance is Bliss" type thing. Don't ask, don't tell. I think it's a hereditary mentality. My parents never ask me if I do things that they may not approve, because they don't want to know the truth. Even if you assume the worst, it's better than actually knowing. Ambiguity galore. It must be my forte.

Tomorrow I'll be pissed off about something. Sometimes I hear or see something and think, "That would make me angry". Except I didn't care. I don't care. Tomorrow I will care. That's just how it works.

Talk to me, I'm listening