Hezo Kittie

Since I've been working anywhere from 15 to 35 hours a week, I've really come to appreciate any free time that I have. But free time has generally gotten the shaft, so I've never been able to take the time and just think. Pretty soon I'm going to have to make some important decisions that I didn't anticipate. Anyone that knows me knows that I don't like to make decisions in general.

I tend to come across the most interesting conversations in the most unusual situations. The first was in Mark Domingo's garage. Jon B dropped some knowledge on everyone, even if the moment was fleeting. But the night was young, and I learned that night that Mark and Jon B are two people I'm glad to know or have known, for very different, yet similar, reasons. Mark, because I learned explicitly that he just loves life, and it's something I've always known about him. He said that there's times when you just love to be where you are, or even to just be alive. He's a good guy to be around.

Jon B is someone who won't just take every situation and person at face value, but who will really take the time to appreciate people and things for what they're worth. And I've only seen a hint of this, but I know he's not just making things up for the sake of talking. And he's very charismatic, instilling life into conversations with his presence. It's an admirable quality.

And then the other day at work, I saw two perspectives of high school from two people who had very different experiences with it. Basically, one guy was all about having time to himself, and the other says high school ain't nothin' but b**ches and money. Obviously, there was a lot of grey areas, but by getting the gist of it, you can see what interesting conversations can come about. And we came to interesting conclusions on different topics.

I came to the decision that I kept an appropriate balance for my life for the last four years. A little bit of everything has happened, and now that we're nearing the final stretch, I think it's time to start wrapping up this chapter. Work and school can put me into the motions easily, and without realizing it, early June might roll around and the last ties will stay undone. I want to be able to look at my life and my past, without prejudices, preconceptions, to get as far away from high school drama and general teenage awkwardness as possible, and dig into what I truly care about, and who I care for.

I'm not there yet. I don't know if I can strip away the meaninglessness that glazes my life. But it's like the man who has to decide whether to have his wife deliver the baby early, and possibly endanger their child's life, or hold out and possibly endanger his wife's health. As Doctor Dorian said to the husband during the peak of his dilemma, "I'm like you. I can never make a serious decision. But when it becomes crunch time, we always pull through."

I hope I pull through. I want to pull through, because time is running thin