Hezo Kittie

before you start reading this, understand that everything is pure and kind and wonderful until you stop wanting it to be. love is what saves us!

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SnowsBaby06: did u really yell @ a woman in hollister?
indiegumby: yeah, i did.
SnowsBaby06: omg thats awesome
indiegumby: i was so pissed
SnowsBaby06: wut was her response
indiegumby: silence
indiegumby: blaise and rob sorta urged me to leave
indiegumby: before anything else would happen
SnowsBaby06: o wow
SnowsBaby06: omg
indiegumby: ?
SnowsBaby06: ive been waning 2 yell @ danville superficial soccer moms my whole life...i just honk @ thme tho in the car
SnowsBaby06: *wanting
indiegumby: it was pretty satisfying
SnowsBaby06: i should try it
indiegumby: it was like
indiegumby: i crossed this line
indiegumby: that nobody has crossed before
indiegumby: and nobody could say anything
SnowsBaby06: i will soon cross that line b4 i go insane with bitterness
indiegumby: im trying to save the world you know
SnowsBaby06: r u really
SnowsBaby06: thats ambitious
indiegumby: yeah. by making things beautiful again.
indiegumby: danville soccer moms are ruining us
SnowsBaby06: nice. make me beautiful
SnowsBaby06: i agree
indiegumby: it sucks. the smartest, most beautiful of us are depressed
indiegumby: i just want people to write and dance and paint
indiegumby: and live
SnowsBaby06: i am soooo depressed @ skool.. u hav no idea
indiegumby: and not be excited when theres a shitty fight at school
indiegumby: or laugh when someone says something fucking dumb as hell like penis or something
indiegumby: i mean, the fucking SHIT kids talk about
SnowsBaby06: haha
SnowsBaby06: i actually am really excited by fights..lol
indiegumby: are you? i am too. i'm sure everyone is really, when they're not being phony as hell and all
SnowsBaby06: but i so no wut u mean
SnowsBaby06: i feel like i walk thru the halls so cynical bcuz people r SO LAME... ther is no personality in this skool
SnowsBaby06: its just a bunch of confused rich kids
indiegumby: god i know. no fucking personality at all
indiegumby: everyone is goddamn boring
SnowsBaby06: yaa
indiegumby: all people talk about are fights and drugs and GRADES when supposedly they dont care
indiegumby: all i want
indiegumby: is for people to be people
indiegumby: and not faceless kids
indiegumby: its like everyone's the fucking same
SnowsBaby06: omg i wish i wasnt so obsessed w/ grades. i want 2 feel free. i want 2 understand what its like 2 not worrie bout trivial things like hw and shit
indiegumby: i dropped physics
indiegumby: to try and do that
SnowsBaby06: i no
SnowsBaby06: o
SnowsBaby06: ya, i think we mite hav a quiz 2morrow
SnowsBaby06: lol
indiegumby: im taking it easy next year
indiegumby: heh
SnowsBaby06: it sux
indiegumby: i mean think about it
indiegumby: i dont remember clearly, but you wanted to be like
SnowsBaby06: wut r u doing next year
indiegumby: an interior designer or something? i dont know.
SnowsBaby06: yaa
indiegumby: why the FUCK do you need to take physics
indiegumby: i mean
indiegumby: its making me upset to see someone like you waste their talent
indiegumby: on bullshit
SnowsBaby06: cuz i hav 2 get into davis....thats wut im "supossed 2 do"
indiegumby: i know what you mean. what is it with us thinking you HAVE to get good grades
indiegumby: parents probably.
indiegumby: everyone around us probably.
indiegumby: i wish you wouldnt go to davis'
indiegumby: its so boring there.
SnowsBaby06: its society...its the school system...
indiegumby: you're too good hearted to be boring
SnowsBaby06: o thanks
SnowsBaby06: ur nice
indiegumby: you know
indiegumby: our world is really messed up
indiegumby: i just want everyone to really know that one day
indiegumby: and try to strive for something. i mean do what makes you happy instead of having sex and drinking all the time.
indiegumby: it seems like the only thing that makes kids happy at our school die the next day
indiegumby: no one's beautiful anymore.
indiegumby: no one even knows what beauty is
SnowsBaby06: thats so true
SnowsBaby06: every1 just hides, i think
indiegumby: i know.
indiegumby: im thinking
SnowsBaby06: people r way 2 insecure
indiegumby: in the next month
indiegumby: im really going to start making people be themselves
indiegumby: like
indiegumby: when we were all little kids
indiegumby: and we were all so beautiful and young and creative
indiegumby: and dreamy
SnowsBaby06: ya i just want 2 b a child again...and b innocent with no worries
indiegumby: and all we wanted was to be happy and for the most part that was easy
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: i think we all can be
indiegumby: we've just been brainwashed into thinking
indiegumby: that these things
SnowsBaby06: u should write a book abou this...the lost high school years
indiegumby: college and grades and money and money and sex and fucking what people think about you
SnowsBaby06: except it not b a narrative
indiegumby: i know.
indiegumby: it'd be important.
indiegumby: im thinking of writing something
indiegumby: small
indiegumby: like 10 pages
SnowsBaby06: so many people r age would read it
SnowsBaby06: it would create a revolution
indiegumby: fuck the newspaper
indiegumby: no one reads that
indiegumby: i just want to
indiegumby: plaster it on the walls
indiegumby: and get kids to paint morals
indiegumby: instead of boring white and red
SnowsBaby06: omg ya
indiegumby: how pretty would that be
indiegumby: if you looked up
indiegumby: and you didnt see all that white stucco crap
indiegumby: and you didnt listen to all that bullshit make up talk
indiegumby: and you could just look up
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: and see LOVE and BEAUTY and paintings of things that are innocent and wonderful
indiegumby: i mean how happy would that make people
SnowsBaby06: that would brighten my day
indiegumby: when i see a kid stoned and wearing his hat backwards and wearing fucking baggy clothes
indiegumby: trying to be happy
indiegumby: it makes me so sad
indiegumby: i mean, i look at him and see absolutely nothing'
indiegumby: and girls, the flowers, the ones that are supposed to make men find beauty and realize innocence
SnowsBaby06: thers nothing 2 a person like that
indiegumby: are the ones that are making these guys think what they're doing is all right
indiegumby: its not all right
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: seriously trisha this conversation is making me really happy. ive been really happy these last couple of days
indiegumby: knowing that there are people who understand
indiegumby: who know that things should be more innocent
indiegumby: that we shouldnt worry about the national budget. we should be be living together and singing songs and not crying anymore
indiegumby: we should be debating whether or not to grow a rose or a daffodil or a carnation
indiegumby: instead of debating whether or not to smoke a joint
indiegumby: nature, the most beautiful thing we could possibly have, the thing god gave us to love and take care of, is falling apart
indiegumby: one of the worst things to me is
indiegumby: volunteering to help others in order to get into college, which is really full of shit
indiegumby: and is awful
indiegumby: awful awful awful
SnowsBaby06: im so guilty of that
indiegumby: it's okay.
indiegumby: we all have been.
indiegumby: we're all guilty of wanting to be part of something bigger you know?
SnowsBaby06: taylor just read our convo
indiegumby: i mean what kid in his right mind would want to be different than everyone else
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: well fuck that
indiegumby: we need to be
indiegumby: or else we're all just going to get worse
indiegumby: really? whatd he say?
SnowsBaby06: i think hes mad or sumpthin....
SnowsBaby06: cuz i sed davis is wut im "supossed 2 do"
indiegumby: fuck that
indiegumby: fuck what you're supposed to do
indiegumby: do what you want to do
SnowsBaby06: and we were planning on going 2 college 2gether..me 2 davis and him @ sierra in sac
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: i dont know. it doesnt seem like that's going to make you happy.
indiegumby: maybe it will.
indiegumby: maybe he just loves you too much
indiegumby: thats probably it. im sure he wants you to know that.
SnowsBaby06: i guess
SnowsBaby06: i no he loves me a lot
indiegumby: maybe hes too brainwashed.
SnowsBaby06: i luv him a lot 2
indiegumby: thats good.
SnowsBaby06: i want 2 do everything that will keep us 2gether
SnowsBaby06: but i feel so sik and bored of skool
indiegumby: what does he wanna be when hes older?
SnowsBaby06: i dont want 2 go nemore. ive told my mom that and she sed it will b diff from high skool
SnowsBaby06: a firefighter
indiegumby: what the fuck
indiegumby: why does he wanna go to college
indiegumby: why cant you study to be an interior designer
indiegumby: and why cant he just become a firefighter
SnowsBaby06: cuz its hard 2 get a job as a firefighter now w/o a degree
indiegumby: what
indiegumby: that doesnt make sense to me
SnowsBaby06: 2 tell u the truth. i dont no wut the fuck i want 2 b
indiegumby: but okay
SnowsBaby06: im so lost
SnowsBaby06: im so scared bout the future
indiegumby: me too.
indiegumby: i guess thats why i want to be a writer
indiegumby: it helps me get all my thoughts out
SnowsBaby06: u should
indiegumby: and i wanna be a teacher too, cause i think id wanna make kids happy
indiegumby: and beautiful
indiegumby: and not let them be ugly all the time
SnowsBaby06: ya...middle skool or high skool
indiegumby: high school probably
indiegumby: middle school kids arent thinking too hard yet
indiegumby: the worst of us are the oldest ones
SnowsBaby06: yup
indiegumby: cause we encourage the younger ones to do awful things
indiegumby: maybe you should take a year off
indiegumby: and just travel and travel
SnowsBaby06: that would b nic
SnowsBaby06: *nice
SnowsBaby06: my parents would b so mad
indiegumby: you'll be an adult soon, you know that?
indiegumby: one day
SnowsBaby06: in oct
indiegumby: we all gotta tell our parents to fuck off
indiegumby: and let us start living our lives
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: we're unlucky to live where we live, trisha
indiegumby: our souls are trapped
SnowsBaby06: we're caugh tin a bubble
indiegumby: and we're scared because everyone around us is rich
indiegumby: and too concerned with things that dont matter when we die
indiegumby: i think life is supposed to be about learning and being kind and smiling and using all the time we can to be as wonderfully human as we can be
indiegumby: and not in school
indiegumby: school is important, i understand that. i wouldnt get rid of school
SnowsBaby06: school is such a waste of time
indiegumby: but id get rid of all the BULLSHIT in school
indiegumby: when was the last time you learned anything you liked
SnowsBaby06: i hope u speak up in AP lit cuz u hav a lot of stuff 2 say
indiegumby: i do sometimes. not all the time.
SnowsBaby06: umm us history with mr g
indiegumby: there are a lot of morons in that class, unfortunately.
SnowsBaby06: i love history
SnowsBaby06: haha ya
indiegumby: thats good
indiegumby: maybe you should study history for a little bit
indiegumby: if you like it
SnowsBaby06: mb
indiegumby: i mean you wouldnt have to make it your job
indiegumby: my favorite writer, kurt vonnegut
SnowsBaby06: wen i told my friend that i wanna study history she like, "omg..historians make like no money at all"
indiegumby: studied chemistry
SnowsBaby06: o
indiegumby: because he fucking liked it
SnowsBaby06: o
indiegumby: and then he did a million other things
indiegumby: anyway
indiegumby: what im trying to say by that is
indiegumby: learn what you want to learn
SnowsBaby06: k
indiegumby: you never know where life is going to take you
SnowsBaby06: u 2
SnowsBaby06: a
indiegumby: so enjoy whatever the fuck it is you want to do
indiegumby: you know?
SnowsBaby06: *ya
indiegumby: fuck money
indiegumby: what do we need all this money for
indiegumby: we need to eat and drink
indiegumby: and do things that make us happy
indiegumby: but thats it
indiegumby: we dont need all these clothes and dvds and shit
indiegumby: how awful is it when parents talk about money
SnowsBaby06: ya
indiegumby: and get stressed out about it
SnowsBaby06: i no
indiegumby: i dont ever want to become the type of person that makes money my top priority
SnowsBaby06: me neither
SnowsBaby06: i gtg eat cya
SnowsBaby06: good convo
SnowsBaby06: im glad somebosy understands
SnowsBaby06: *body
SnowsBaby06: i need 2 take a break. fuck skool
SnowsBaby06: bye
SnowsBaby06 signed off at 7:20:26 PM.