Hezo Kittie

People make me angry sometimes. Today in physics this one kid was in the lab group next to us, and he was a complete fuckin loser. He was in drumline, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with drumline, but this other kid Alex was in it too, who was in my lab group. Loser kid taps out some beat on the desk, and says that he can do it on the countertop but not with drumsticks, and Alex replies that it's because the drumsticks are heavy so it's harder.

OK that wasn't actually important to the story, but loser kid thought he was really freakin awesome for almost the entire time we were measuring our data at lab table. This kid was soo full of himself, and I really couldn't see why. I was standing there, holding the meterstick like a cane, and the kid just walks by and takes it from me. If I'd have realized that he just took it from my hand without even asking me, I would've said, "Aren't you going to ask for that?" Is it just me or is it really rude to just take something out of someone's hand that you don't even know. I usually ask if that person is using it, or if I can borrow it since that's the polite thing to do considering I don't even know the person.

But he then went on to act like he was way too cool for Alex (apparently they were in the same drumline class together). We would just be standing there measuring our thing and minding our own business and he blurt out such idiotic blubber from his mouth like, "Alex, I understand you. How do you feel about that?" The kid was such an asshole, he spoke to Alex like he was so much better and cooler than him, so he could say whatever he wanted to him and it wouldn't matter.

No respect whatsoever.

Maybe I'll have a different perspective once I go to Breaking Down the Walls and my view on life changes completely, but I've come to accept that people in general aren't friendly. And I don't believe I'm being a hypocrite by having no respect for some loser kid who doesn't show respect to anyone. But some people don't understand when they walk up to a group of people, say "Hi," and stand there expecting a warm welcome. That's not people being unfriendly in general, that's an individual not knowing how the hell people work. I personally don't think any walls will be broken by our clique-y-ness, but I at least know that standing next to a person and saying Hi and expecting a "Hi, I'm Bethy Sue! What's your name? Oh my god that's so interesting!" is reaching. This is how friends works, Mean Girls style: "Oh my god that skirt is so cute. Where did you get that? Let's be friends. Sit at my lunch table! You are very pretty." That's how we teenagers roll. No, you're not breaking down this fortress of a wall we call friendship unless you're personally invited in. Otherwise you are just a lowly beggar sleeping on a box in front of the moat waiting for the drawbridge to open in the morning.

...

That's why I'm not overly excited about going to college. The friends I have have been long established over many years and it's not just something I can replace with some random clique that lets me into their group in college. Firstly because the friends I have are irreplaceable good people that I'll miss. And secondly I doubt anyone will let me into their walls. I'm like a square peg that doesn't quite fit in the round hole. I don't fit into any of your average stereotypical cliques, and that's not to say that I'd WANT to be a generic stereotype of a person, but how am I supposed to find friends as varied and awesome as the ones I have now? I don't think I'm friends with anyone who'd say, "Oh my god I love your shirt, be my friend!" so I don't know how I'd meet people I get along with.

Rochelle is someone who can make something out of nothing. She can make friends anywhere, and have a good time in places you'd find least likely to be fun. I really can't do that and that's probably what distinguishes us the most; I admire a trait like that. She has a presence that sets her apart from everyone, and though it's tough for me to typecast her as someone who gets a lot of "I LOVE that bag, where did you get it? Let's be friends!" it's partially true, even if it's a little more complicated than that.

I don't know what to expect tomorrow.

"I have a very high EQ - something like 3,000 hertz. If I think too hard my brain hertz." - George Harrison