Hezo Kittie

Matt Dooner is a pretty cool person. It seems like forever ago that we went to Tower and I bought a million CDs with him and it was fun because we can talk casually about all kinds of stuff because we are good friends, I think we'd probably be even better friends if we were in the same grade, but a two year grade difference is pretty big considering Matt is officially graduating from high school now and I'm just going to be a lowly 5 foot something junior. I can talk to Matt and Sean too easily for some reason, they seem like people I would've hung out with, but then at the same time really different.

Summer is weird for me. Usually I am tired, because I never sleep on school nights, actually even on weekends I don't sleep because I have some bullshit I have to do in the morning. But now I'm waking up really late and I feel weird and dumb waking up late but at least I'm not tired.

Matt's right though about me getting worked up too easily though, which is kinda contradictive because I think it's part of my immaturity. Because getting worked up is kinda like acting like a baby, and a baby is at the lowest end of the mature chain. So pretty much I'm just a whiny bitch. And sometimes when stuff just doesn't go my way, then it makes me angry, and I forget about that birthday card that Kurt gave me. I always seem to talk about that card huh? To me, it seems like all the things that make everything right and okay even when you aren't having the best of luck. Because in the end it really doesn't matter what luck you have or what you end up with.

I guess it's nice being able to be awake for once, because by the end of the year it really was a hassle to make it through one day, and if it wasn't for my easy as hell classes last year then I would've been failing. Luckily, all of my teachers gave us huge breaks so I didn't have to worry about grades so much as trying to survive one day without falling asleep and ummm dying.

So I guess I'm scared for next year. It has only been the first week of summer, and I'm still scared. I'm scared and I haven't even looked at what I need for the summer assignments. It's scary. Last year hasn't prepared me for anything (with the exception of pages of math homework has prepared me for even more pages of math homework, but that's a given). I could, in effect, "muscle" my way through my classes, which I can't even explain but is kinda like bullshitting enough to get an A with the minimal amount of work, because no actual work was rewarded in any of my classes, as far as I knew. I shouldn't be talking, I haven't gotten my report card yet, I could've still failed Spanish.

My philosophy on cheating is if you get caught then you deserve it, and if you fail a test while taking it straight, then you deserve it too. So I guess I deserve whatever I get. But I didn't cheat on the Spanish final and I was last to finish. So maybe I just got raped.

Rewind: So now that I've had time to sleep, I've also had more time to think about stuff that doesn't matter. This is the stuff I've been doing for as long as I can remember though. So I must not be getting any smarter. I guess I'm just kinda stupid in my stupid little way, and I'll always be this way.

Everything was a lot different a year ago. I guess I was kinda the same, but there was a bunch of different people around me. I remember I barely knew Brian that well I only hung out with him like not that much. Now I hella hang out with Brian because he's a cool kid and likes things such as the Twolves, Poker, 007, cool magazines that jack stuff from the internet, and other kinds of cool stuff.

But I mean whatever man. I'm just gonna play some poker.