Hezo Kittie

I didn't have any homework today but I didn't end up doing anything useful with my free time, not even napping (which is a double-edged sword *cough* because I can't sleep at night sometimes).

Nicole wrote about how she felt materialistic for really wanting something, and I don't think it was bad to want it because we all always want stuff. Just because someone wants stuff doesn't mean that our life and our mood revolves around it though. In the end the things we buy and the money we have in our pocket becomes as superficial as...well superficial stuff. Bad stuff that happens in life is a lot worse. I can't explain =\

I kind of noticed how many people like to compliment themselves ever so slightly to feel better about themselves, and I don't think it's bad. People should feel good about themselves, and have self-esteem, because there's nothing wrong with confidence.

And everyone has their little hypocrisies, especially me. People always say how bad being a hypocrite can be but when you see all the hypocrisy happening around you, you cannot help but accept it as the way people just are. It's kind of hard to accept though.

I can't write much about anything so I'm writing Nick style.

I'm tired of people coming and going out of my life. It just sucks being attached to people and then it's almost like addiction. And addiction is bad.

Addiction is a sad, shitty thing. My mom is cool and all, but she wanted to go on a diet but couldn't stop eating chocolate to diet. And when she ate chocolate it honestly looked pathetic. And I hope to God I don't become addicted.

I remember Nick Ong said, "I don't get why people do drugs." I get it. I've heard enough drug stories to know that to be on drugs feels good. But, drugs aren't my thing.

I told Matt a few days ago that I wanted to be like Atticus and he said, "Just be yourself," and for some reason I never thought of that. I've learned that basically people do drugs because it is fun, they get attention, and/or to surpress insecurities temporarily. My life is fun enough for me, I'm not one to draw attention, and I think using mind-altering substances to take away fears is a cop-out. So I think I'm clean.

This year went by fast, in my opinion, but now it's going slow as all hell since it's the end of the year. I am BURNT FUCKING OUT already and I'm sick of schoolwork. For some reason I can remember all these things that happened in 8th grade, but this year it's all just a random jumble of nothingness. It reminds me of sixth grade but cooler because I have some friends this time.

Iron Horse was innocent, and maybe that's what I liked about it. During 8th grade I don't remember a lot of people dating much and there wasn't anything in the drugs department. Iron Horse was all about screwing around, jumping in pools at night with your clothes on, and smashing apples in the street. People weren't so vicious back then.

Iron Horse was the quad, every single day you knew where and would see every single person in the entire grade, in the quad. We always hung out at the same places, ate at the same tables, did the same things. It was routine and I like routine, it's cool.

Now it's all...different. I don't know that many people but I think it's because people don't want to know me.

Actually no, I do know people. And it bugs the shit out of me to walk in the halls and see people you know, but don't know whether to say hi or not, because you know them but you don't talk to them anymore. And this isn't just from Iron Horse. This goes shitloads back to elementary school when you were friends with these people too and you think they don't recognize you but they do. I realized that I used to be good friends with a lot of people that I'm not good friends with anymore. Kinda sucks.

-Brittany Donley in a bikini is teh hotter.