Hezo Kittie

What's that thing I go to called, the place I go before I blog? Oh yeah, school. WTF was that shit next week that was supposed to be cool that happens after I blog? Oh yeah, spring break.

Today was funny.

Today was also very simple. I enjoyed the simplicity. I always wanted to go to dinner with a few friends, cool ones, a dinner similar to the tone that first time me nick felicia and christen went to Starbucks (and unlike that one time we went to dinner with whacko tension and awkward silences). It was all so simple at Starbucks, and it was simple today. I walk to Felicia's because then Nicole's parents wouldn't have to make two trips. She has a big dog and a little dog. Wait no, back up a second. I put up an away but I checked it right before I left and Nick was excited like insanely. He sure is a crazy guy. I wanted some milk tea.

We drove. Peoples were talking the whole way and the ride seemed very short that way. We talked like old friends even though we weren't. I noticed that people don't keep old friends anymore, I don't mean old friends like last year but old friends like six years ago. I guess friendships don't go as long as six years, but sometimes they do. And when we ate dinner we still talked like old friends, and it did feel good because that's what friends do, they talk, and it's not bs talk where you try to say some shit but you can't, it's bs talk where you talk about meaningless shit that becomes oh-so-meaningful when you tell the story again to your friends. I felt impatient when I wanted to talk though, and I just ate my words about how I don't like it when people don't listen because they want to talk when you're done. And there was nothing complicated about this, which was so fan-frickin'-tastic about it.

that tapioca milk tea. Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan. That was good.

I want Nick to get into hard classes because he wants to be challenged. I want him to know though that getting into a hard class doesn't mean you automatically get an A, you still gotta do shit, and some shit is hard. But since he has a desire for learning, if he wants it bad enough he'll go for it. And I trust him.

I could tell that Nick paid a little more attention to Felicia as time went on though. Or I thought he did. And I didn't like it, but who am I to say? And I didn't want the simplicity to be given a good twist in the arm, because I didn't want things to be complicated.

Those Tapioca Express straws would make some badass spitwads.

But then I think about my weird fear of guys macking chicks. And I remember where it rooted from. This one time last year Brooke said, "She's just lonely and horny." and she was talking about Katie and I never wanted to become like that ever because it scared the shit out of me to be "lonely and horny". Not that I wanted to go out and get someone, but that I wouldn't be attracted to someone just because they were there. And it makes friends that much more complicated. Katie toyed with Bryan or some shit last year I think, which is why Brooke said what she said, and I thought that was messed, and it makes me scared because I don't want to do that and if I ever did that to someone I would castrate myself and tear out my eyeballs with a pocket knife.

And during dinner I wished that guys and girls were equal, because nothing good comes out of it. I guess I think crazily, thinking that intimacy and desire is all bad and stuff, even though its not. I just have these tall, tall walls around it. And for some reason all I can think about is how relationships mess up friends, and not just relationships but like...WTF AM I SAYING? It's two AM what the fuck.

I fell in love with punk again today. Recently I've listened to rock and roll-y music with a dash of metal, most of the bands which are usually associated with emo though which is weird because they don't sound like emo, such as Thrice, At the Drive In, and Sparta. I listened to two Toy Dolls songs on Bryan's CD player and they were very very good. And Sean put a Refused CD in the car and he put it on number six and I was like ... whoa. So I go home and make a new list with some random shit I was downloading and some punk songs I used to like a lot. Actually it's a very varied list, Flock of Seagulls, Dead Kennedys, Bad Brains, De La Soul, Transplants, Toy Dolls, Tiger Army, more Bad Brains, Finch, the Clash, and Nick Drake. And it is one cool ass list. Especially New Noise by Refused, that's the best song on that list, followed by Guns of Brixton by the Clash because reggae is cool like I Luv I Jah by Bad Brains. Oh yeah and Homebound by the Slicks. I missed the Slicks and Jon and Casey played Homebound even though they aren't in the band anymore and that song is sweeeeeeeeeeet.

owell I'm listening to I Luv I Jah by Bad Brains and the 1337 invader zim girl is haxing it up next to me so peace out homies, have fatty sex