Hezo Kittie

Once again I've come to a crossroads, and yeah I over thought again but that's okay because I can't sleep. I lost an hour anyways why don't I just lose more.

Now I have a lot of thoughts that I'm not so sure I can put into like sentences and stuff and make it make sense.

Bryan - so on Sunday I'm chillin' and then I think ok Nicole is in LA and earlier that day Christen said she could go after soccer which finishes at five or something. I go online and no one is on. I talk to her and say u want to go still and shes like well im tired from soccer but i want to see it or something (I have bad memory) and i'm like if you are tired you should just chill because it's Sunday and she said I would probably just end up watching tv anyways so it's the same thing and im like "if you say so" so then i'm like ok then I think "what about bryan". bryan isnt online and then I think about it and then am like if I tell Bryan to go he will probably have steam coming out of his ears and be tomato-red pissed the whole movie because he can't be within ten feet of christen and im like shit and then i wanted to just call christen and tell her i didnt want her to go (so that she wouldn't feel like she had to go) because she was tired anyways and it would be a hassle but it was already like almost time practically to leave so I just went to the stupid movie and it was a fucking hassle and I did a stupid fucking thing after because I have no common sense and then my parents yelled at me.

the tomato-red steamed ears effect was last seen friday as he walked into central park and i thought he was going to beat my face in or something

I don't remember what I told bryan on the phone either on friday but it was something fucking stupid on my part like that I would meet up with them if I could or something but I didn't say "but don't wait for me" as in maybe i will but ill call u up if i can or something but I didn't say that cuz im FUCKING STUPID So uhh gg and maybe I just didn't want to say directly that I was with Christen and Nicole because I thought that you would just make fun of me and I would be ashamed or some shit because for some lame reason I thought that you guys were bad friends like me and wouldn't respect that I hang out with people you may or may not approve of.

and i dont know why its so hard this time to juggle friends i mean i hung out with nick and his friends and i also hung out with bryan and his friends i guess im just stupid this time and didn't make a decision because i remember (even though I have bad memory) saying that I don't like to make decisions and because i didn't make a decision i fucked myself over

and when i got home i hit a new low that i haven't felt since seventh grade and when practically the entire foundation of your life seems to have smashed because you fucked it up yourself real good its not pretty and its not like "wah wah some chick took a shit in some other guys mouth instead of mine last night so ima be emo" it is like hollow and like i sold my soul to satan bc i was empty

bryan is usually right anyway and whatever he is thinking now is right and im wrong about anything

jordan - i dont know why you would be mad that i hung out with christen for one day instead of you guys because you hang out with other people every day at school and i dont get mad bout it. hanging out with you is cool bc ur a cool guy but if you want to go and pursue a better and/or more popular life at school then im not stoppin you. and i know you like to sit next to lin dev and k during lunch like even if they are sitting at a different table then u sit there and i mean thats cool if they are ur friends but i seriously don't think that any of those girls give a shit about any of us, and i came to this conclusion about six months ago. and i would probably trade a thousand lisa-berrys-or-whoever-you-hang-out-with-these-days-who-would-drop-your-friendship-if-you-werent-cool-enough, to hang out with you because you're better than that. but that doesnt matter because i dont have any friends at lunch anyway so pwnd all over my face

nicole - if jordan offers again, take the gum. i dont think he likes yelling

christen - sorry i left you alone i dont have any common sense because i am kevin delavega by day, complete fucking asshole by night

this would probably all make perfect sense if i was gay

im going to try to get sleep again and mr. sloan extended pianist deadline so Nicole is wants to go see it and i was going to go with her but if u wanna go pm me or call me up 4137403 cell 2750441 home, i also need to pick up some shit at best buy so pm me if u want to go to bb, and lastly i think the foss people should session for myth shit tomorrow so foss ppl try to get free and we can meet up if im hopefully not doing somethin else my number is above

i'll be free about 1:15 PM dont call before and dont forget to set all your clocks an hour forward

confidence