Hezo Kittie

I like to parellel my topics with Nick's because he always makes me think of things when I read them.

I think the first thing I'm going to talk about was during PE I sucked it up during the mini man-makers. That's what Mr. Linda calls his "conditioning circuit" that we do in the gym. It consists of doing one exercise with medicine balls on the top basketball court, about six people at a time, then run three laps around the outside of the second floor. Repeat with another exercise. Repeat. Etc. I always try when I'm in PE because I just do. PE is never usually hard anyway. I was doing okay for most of the conditioning until we were on the very last exercise, where we put our hands on the medicine ball and do diamond push-ups. I think on the fourth my hand slipped off and it crumpled, so did one of my legs. I felt stupid and weak, even though the other people in my group were fucking faggots like David Venabole and James Provost, though Melissa Hashimoto was cool. And they never did any of their shit properly. I still felt weak because I screwed up on a PE exercise.

"We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." - Tyler Durden

Never felt more true. After the man-maker I didn't talk, and I played badminton with no intent on trying to get the shuttlecock over. I felt like my arms were moving for me. I had no friends in that class the last two times I was there. Brian Leung switched PE classes and Anthony Jelercic is sick. I don't know Melissa that well. Brooke K. doesn't have any friends either but they wouldn't let her change classes, but I don't talk to her anymore anyway. The superficial guys just drool on her.

When we were at Mikkis over the weekend and after Brian and Bryan fought, Mikki wanted to fight me but that sounded like a bad idea considering I am 110 pounds of (almost) skin and bone. Even Bryan said it wasn't a good idea and that I'd get whooped. Nick was talking to Bella on the telephone, and then Bella asked why I wasn't fighting Mikki and he said, "He's too scared."

Maybe my threshold of pain is low. Maybe other people telling me that it's a fact that I will lose. But there was no excuse that I was just scared, and I knew I've got nothin' on him. I was angry at Nick for a few minutes after he said that. I told myself that he was just trying to impress her because he went up against Mikki and I didn't. Nick is strong, but he's also a pacifist; he will never get into a fight, and neither will I. But he went up against him and did whatever he could.

I should not have any respect; I've done nothing respectful and nothing to be proud of. It's just me.

In other news, I want to blow about $200 in CDs and DVDs.