Hezo Kittie

WORST
LAG
EVER

Jet lag, that is.

OH SHIT CANADIANS ATTACKED THE TOUR GROUP. Seemed like we had like...two families from the states, and a billion families from Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

Something that I think is weird is that if you are looking at the face of a complete stranger but they aren't looking even remotely in your direction, they'll turn and look you right in the eye and then that's the part where I look away and go la-de-da and twiddle my thumbs and pretend I didn't do anything. One day I'm going to see how long I can look into their eyes before either they look away or I am forced to. I remember when we were at the movies once I saw this guy who played on Cal Varsity and I yelled his name and looked away and he thought that Jordan said his name and gave him a weird look, it was funny.

EUROPE IS A FOB MAGNET.

Actually it's a bunch of rich japanese people who whip out their wallets and buy $800 Louis Vuitton bags. I spent so much fucking time watching my mom and sister shop that I actually know some designer clothing people whatever shit now agh!!! bad.

There are more barbie dolls in the world than canadians. Take that Canada! Don't shake yo' head on the 4th of July or else Ima bust a cap up in here. See, so on the night of 4th of July, instead of watching fireworks in the cool american sky, I was in a dinner-and-a-show that was a can-can. And yes, I haven't seen so many real live bouncing topless boobies in my life before but *gasp* they actually got boring after a while. The comedian between acts was the shit though. And the guys were hella gay haha they had like fishnet neon shirts on one part it was uber-gay.

Hella funny, in London I think, there was a group of this like...screaming japanese girls who were taking pictures with this random white guy, I mean maybe he was famous or something but he looked like a normal dude, short hair and he was eating an apple and giving a peace sign because the peace sign owns your ass.

The statue of Winston Churchill in London has electronic zapper thingies on his shoulders so there's no poopie birdies on his shoulders so he stays nice and clean. My mom got pooped on in Venice in St. Mark's Square, which is this HUGE square with PIDGEONS EVERYWHERE. You haven't seen pidgeons until you've seen St. Mark's Square, it's scary. I saw a glimpse of the Thinking Man statue and that was pretty cool.

Looking up at the Eiffel Tower when it's lit up at night it quite possibly the coolest thing I have ever seen. The next day we went on the second floor of it because we didn't have time to go on the top but up there it was already really high, you could see a great deal of Paris.

OK, here's the quick breakdown of my trip. It consisted of three parts, the first part was a week in Marbella, Spain, which is on the southern beach and we chilled out and looked at some sights nearby and stuff, Spain has good chicken. We took a day trip to Morocco, we took a ferry there, it's an arab country in Africa right next to Spain and that was cool, we saw like snake charmers and ate some funky arab foods that was kinda good and saw arab d00ds.

The second part of the trip was the five days to get from Malaga, Spain to Rome, Italy. We had five-day passes for unlimited use of trains and we took trains ALL DAY LONG. Seems like what we did, we did do a few things, stopped for a day tour in Barcelona, that's about it.

We hit Rome a day early before the final part of the trip, a ten day tour of Eastern Europe. That tour was the shizzy shat. It was a bunch of families so there were kids and there were actually people to talk to and it was sweet. It went Rome, Italy, to Venice, Italy, to Luzern, Switzerland, to Paris, France, to London, England, then we flew out of London-Heathrow airport. Rome, saw all that stuff like the Colliseum or however you spell it, oh shit!

Probably my favorite place of all the places we went to was Vatican City! Motherfucker the Vatican is the shit! Yeah, Go Pope John Paul II. Well, the two things there were St. Peter's Basilica, which is like where the Pope does all his fatty mo-bastic masses and stuff, but when you go inside you are like...whoa. It's the craziest thing ever, it's like lined in gold and like amazing sculptures and like everything is insane-o. I saw a few cardinals but no pope. The other cool thing was the Sistine Chapel, that's the little chapel/church thingy that Michaelangelo painted the entire ceiling and also one wall of the Final Judgement. That was like...uber cool. It was so packed in there tho, you like couldn't even move. Same when we went to the Louvre in Paris, the biggest museum in the world, and there was sooo many people at the Mona Lisa, I managed to get to the front though and that was hella cool.

blbhalbhalbhlhb shitty

i dont feel like typing